got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He better not be in your backpack
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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