someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize