Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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