Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
