I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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