Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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