wakey wakey hands off snakey
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
