Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
God I need to hump something, right now.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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