So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
it's great music for shaving your balls
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
