Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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