he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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