Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize