i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
