I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
