i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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