I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
