walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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