I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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