so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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