i barfeds in our rink
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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