Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize