White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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