Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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