So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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