i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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