VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
