That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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