Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
