last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize