White coat. Heels.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
