It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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