dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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