oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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