when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
