I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
