even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
