I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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