He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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