Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
