I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
