I wish I could teleport
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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