we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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