a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
