Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
either way he was missing a nipple.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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