i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I believe in your delicious
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
