Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
