Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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