he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
