she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
