1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
someone owes me an orgasm
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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