Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
