Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize