I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I currently don't understand fingers.
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