She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
