TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
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