Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
