I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize