Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
