It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
