Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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