he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
