Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
