I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize