i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
