I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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