Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
