You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
