So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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