If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
