I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
