At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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