let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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